What's Wrong With HP Fans?

Read furiosity's post regarding the number of Harry Potter fans who not only don't read gen fic, but claim to hate it. Lots of comments remarking on the scarcity of HP gen fic, something I've noticed in my own (mostly fruitless) search for readable, enjoyable HP gen fic. Which leads me to ask:

What the hell is wrong with you people?
No, really, what's wrong with HP fans? I've been in quite a few fandoms, and I've never had this much difficulty finding gen fic. While I am, as one person described, a "militant genner," I have quite a few slasher and shipper friends in my various fandoms, and I've spent time exploring sites and communities outside of my reading interests, so I think I have a pretty good picture of what's out there. In every case, be it Star Trek, Star Wars, Stargate SG-1, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Real Ghostbusters, The Sentinel, Magnificent 7, Man from Uncle -- virtually any current fandom -- there is a large, active gen fiction community. I cracked open the program from last year's Media*West Con to check my perception against the list of last year's premiering zines: of about 100 new zines, approximately half were gen. Even Lord of the Rings, home of crazed RPS ficcers, had at least two gen zines last year.

One factor might be the lack of "old time" fans in HP fandom (this would neatly explain the lack of print zines as well). I can't say that I've examined this in any scientific way, but I get the impression from LJ the and few HP lists I've subscribed to that HP has a higher percentage of youger fans and people for whom this is their first fandom (compared to fandoms like Stargate or The Sentinel). I don't recognize a lot of the pen names I've encountered. Of course, this is a hard thing to gauge in a fandom that seems to be much more diffuse than other fandoms (a result of so much of the fandom being located in LJ?).

Others might argue that HP has an inordinatly large number of canon characters, several of whom are in canon relationships, or for whom JKR is dropping anvils, which leads to the relationship-heavy nature of HP fic. However, none of these canon relationships take up a great portion of canon; JKR doesn't spend pages delving into the Malfoys' marital angst or the Weasleys' after-hours action. Even the Ron/Hermione relationship takes up relatively little space, considering they're the two principle supporting characters. One can argue that some canon or near canon shipping is to be expected, but canon pairings don't account for the vast majority of ship and slash. What of the reams of fic written about "Draco turn[ing] into a godlike were-leopard by way of buttsex with Mrs. Norris" and other similarly remote, bizarre ship and slash fic? HP fans seem to delight in pairing characters that have never appeared in the same chapter, let alone exchanged three words. Most of the pairings in other fandoms seem to arise out of fans' perception of UST. Almost all of the HP pairings have no canon UST. Not a shadow. Not a shred. Not a scintilla. And few fans even bother to argue that they perceive any. So I don't think that can be it.

All I want is sharks with laser beams a little decent gen. Character studies, missing scenes, alternate endings, meta commentaries, a little hurt/comfort. Throw me a frickin' bone, people.