Penfold_X's Fandom Journal

Over the past six months, on three separate occasions, I've dreamed of an alternate universe in which Angel ended differently.

Not a universe in which the show was real but rather, a universe in which Wheadon/rightsholders made an Angel film for theatrical release (similar to Serenity) after the end of the series. In the first dream, I had to move heaven and earth to get out of work on time to see the first showing, which was ridiculously crowded (apparently, the film was a hit). Because it's my subconscious, Wesley was pretty instantly resurrected, and the fang gang went on to battle evil in an appropriately cinematic fashion.

In the second dream, there was a follow-on made-for-tv movie in which a few of the regular cast members were replaced by other actors. In both cases, I can't remember anything of the plot; my angst in the first dream was more about trying to find a theatre that had room for me. The third dream--last night--was all about my overwhelming need to understand why Alexis Denisof wasn't included made-for-tv movie. Was it scheduling? Illness? I needed to know. My dream-self haunted Google and pelted gimmelgirl with questions.

I have zero idea why my brain keeps returning to Angel. I haven't thought about the series in a while, and it's been more than five years since I pursued fanworks or re-watched episodes. Generally, I think of dreams as the tumblr of recent thoughts; prior to sleeping last night, my brain was focused on 1) linguistics and the transition from Middle English to Modern English; 2) Divergence!Claudius and Eibhlin, and 3) Netflix's terrible collection of apocalypse movies. Where does this weird alternate universe come from? Why does it keep returning?

I recently read Marie Kondo's The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. I've been searching for a while for a way to improve my habitat, so that my space is relaxing, joyful and pleasant. Kondo seems to get exactly that concept, and her position on organizing is forget finding new and more elaborate ways to store--radically pare down what you have, so that it is much easier to store in your space.

I think that she's right. I'm surrounded by entirely too much stuff (a problem I've been failing to deal with for a while now). I started with clothes, as she recommends (pictures and details to come), and that was difficult but not impossible, and I saw a lot of benefits (oh my goodness, I want to tell you about my sock drawer!).

The next category she recommends you organize (yes, there's an order of categories, and then orders within categories) is books. I've got a lot of books and magazines; I'm a news junkie and one of my hobbies is politics and sociology. There's also the obvious cross-over with fannish stuff: book series, tie-ins for movies and television series, comics and graphic novels, and fanzines. I'm not going to even try to deal with fannishly produced books and manga while working the 'books' category; for me, I think they fall mostly in the hobbies category, which would normally be dealt with later in the process.

Even though I can make the space, I don't want to keep everything. My free time is a precious commodity, and I think I should be realistic about what I'd be likely to re-read (or read for the first time). But even with that knowledge, it's hard to cut down what I have, and I'd appreciate feedback/ideas. What general level should I be using to cut down to? Does it matter that reading so closely aligns with my other hobbies/interests?

My books fall roughly into the following categories:

* Textbooks: law, politics, psychology, history, French. I'm thinking toss the law books, as they're not useful for re-study (because of the way law is taught, wherein cases are presented for discussion rather than presentation of rules/principles). For a practitioner, they're useless. Hornbooks and nutshells are more useful, but I've tossed those as they've aged (because the ones I was using were becoming OBE). I'm also inclined to toss the politics textbooks, as they're all from the mid-nineties and none of them are classics in the field (someone's incorrect guess about what they post-cold war world would look like isn't really worth saving, right?). The history books aren't particularly good either, and I think I can find anything I need on the Internet. The French I'm keeping because I have used them a few times since graduating, and I plan to use them again to brush up before any travels to French-speaking countries. The psychology are a hard spot: what if I want to look up information on child development, abnormal psych, etc, for a fanfic? I haven't really used them post-undergrad, but I can't shake the feeling that I might.

* Professional materials: law journals, books/pamphlets/briefs published as a part of prior jobs, papers published by others in my specialty. The law journals... I'm not sure why I saved them, except that I guess when I finished school that's what I thought lawyers did. Some of the recent ones I might find an article or two of interest in, but the others... If I haven't read them now, I'm not going to pick them up in my free time now. And if I really need an article from a journal from fifteen years ago, I've got my Westlaw account. Briefs, articles, and other materials I authored however... I think those need to be archived some where. Most of it I'm not going to use as a writing sample, but I do want copies of things that I wrote, and for me most of that doesn't live digitally. There's also one very big professional topic that I worked intensely on for years where, even though I don't know if I'll ever write that journal article I was planning, I think I need all the materials that I have from that issue because it's a huge career thing that may become relevant in my life again at some point (either to teach or write about, or just to remember), though I think I should move it off of the book shelves and into storage boxes.

* Sociology and political philosophy. I'm perpetually interested in what makes human societies (especially the US) function. I'm constantly reading new texts and, even though I rarely re-read books, I sometimes go back to extract factoids or compare with something new I'm reading. Keep 'em all?

* Political biography. Keep everything that wasn't disappointing, and anything I haven't read yet that still looks interesting (I think I have a high chance of picking any one of these up as a random 'oooh, let's start a new book' choice).

* Religious: Bible studies, apologetics, popular topics. Keep apologetics and popular topics; like sociology and political philosophy, I think I use them enough as reference that they're still good to keep around. Toss Bible studies (they should be like a course--you take it once, then it's done). Cull the C.S. Lewis for duplicates, and keep only the best copy of a given work.

* Cookbooks. So many gifts I don't use! Toss everything but the three I do use, as I can find almost anything I need on the Internet.

* Mainstream popular novels (eg, spy novels, drama, chick lit). OMG TOSS THEM. None of these are passions, and they're so easy to buy another of if I need them, for some unforseen reason. Keeping these are like keeping wrappers from my candy bars. I feel a little twinge getting rid of my Tom Clancy novels--when I was in school, he was one of my favorites; I read his whole back catalogue, and eagerly anticipated anything in the Jack Ryan/John Clark universe. But I haven't re-read them in over a decade, and it's not as though I wouldn't be able to find replacement copies if I had a burning need. I also feel just a little off about tossing my Stephen Fry novels but, like Clancy, if I'm jonsing to re-read, it shouldn't be an issue to find them again.

* Science fiction and fantasy novels. Keep the ones I love, but get good copies. For example, why are my half of my Harry Potters beat-up paperbacks with cracked spines? Keep the ones I haven't read yet but feel I am likely to read, regardless of the condition. Donate books I read and enjoyed but won't read again (or didn't read and don't particularly feel likely to); if it's not a passion, what do I need the copy for?

* Random classics. Sure, I enjoyed these books, but... who needs single Shakespearean play lying around? If Shakespeare or Austen were passions, then sure, I should get good copies of all their works and keep them, but the honest truth is there's a good reason why I wasn't an English major. Same goes for my books of Keats and Frost poetry. I read and enjoyed, but I don't go out on beautiful summer afternoons to re-read them under a tree in the dappled sunlight. I'm not a poetry buff, and keeping them around doesn't make me smarter or more sophisticated.

* Art, museum, coffee table. Mostly souvenirs from travel or gifts. The photos are generally lovely, but I don't display them as coffee table books. Really hard to part with, though, as I remember how much they cost, or the friends who gave them to me.

* Reference. Most of these are travel books, which I would purge except they also feel sort of like souvenirs? I also have some books on purchasing a home that I'd like to keep until such time as I actually do that (!) and a few books on nutrition that I think might be helpful in the future. And that copy of the Army handbook on nuclear, biological and radiological threats just seems like the sort of thing it would be bad luck to throw away.

* Magazines. I don't keep news magazines any more (I used to have soooo maaaaany). Right now, my only non-fannish magazines are my decades-old issues of Victoria magazine. At one time, this was the aesthetic to which I aspired. I couldn't get rid of them when I tossed the news magazines because I was still thinking about all the recipes, photos, etc. Theoretically, I could still use them as design inspiration, but I think the look is slightly more fussy than what would please me today.

* Fannish tie-in materials. Oh Lord, so many books in this category. I think I'm going to treat this as a separate, hobby category and do them when we get to the hobbies area. *head in hands*

Starting a tough couple of weeks. Going to manage them by invoking the power of John Watson's BAMFtastic indifference to BS:

Over the past couple of months, my interest in Classic Who has been revived in big way. You would think having a history with a show would make it easy to get back in the fandom, but the last time I was this captivated, John Major was prime minister. Commercial internet was in its infancy (I did not have access), and watching episodes involved finding a source that could get past the PAL-VHS divide (and, oh yah, the Atlantic) or being lucky enough to live in a region with good public television.¹ Access to guidebooks or other tie-in materials was limited, especially if you didn't live near an active fan community. I familiarized myself with older episodes by reading the Terrence Dicks novelizations I bought from the bins underneath tables at the Star Trek conventions.²

In the meantime, Doctor Who has grown exponentially. In many ways, this is wonderful. For example, you can imagine the macro face I made when I stumbled onto Big Finish (I CAN HAZ TARDIS?!?). I am never going to be short of squee. But it is also a little overwhelming. There is so much to enjoy, I am not sure where to begin but I am quite sure that I am doing it all wrong.

It is also making me weirdly defensive. I have the urge to make an icon that says "I'm not here because David Tennant is pretty. I'm here because Sylvester McCoy gives me an inimitable feeling of childhood wonder and security for the plot."

For the love of all things holy, would someone just show me where the towels are kept?

This post has been brought to you by penfold_x's inability to find an active Classic Who fic-finder community.

¹ Defined as "plays episodes from a range of Doctor Who eras weekly," as opposed to "plays three episodes of Tom Baker over and over, until permanently preempted by The Joy of Painting."

² Imma gonna to stop reminiscing here because this post is rapidly degenerating into "When I was your age we only had one con a year! And we had to walk there, in three feet of snow. Uphill! Both ways!" *waves old lady cane*